The Choice To Feel

Written by oceana on April 17th, 2010

If I was to choose the most precious, the most useful and the most liberating lessons I had in life so far it would be the ones about the possibility of choice: especially in relation to feelings about certain matters.

Until then I thought feelings were sort of a given, sort of a “I was born this way!”

How amazing it was to find out we create feelings via many patterns and filters we adopted or/and (again) created ourselves. We actually learn to feel certain emotions towards certain matters and we develop „appropriate“  strategy for reacting on various triggers.

Recently I had a very good opportunity to fall into the familiar pattern of sadness combined with anger that would end up in a dungeon of depression because it looked like an injustice has been done to me but I used all my resources to get another angle on this matter and to let go of nourishing the idea of a victim. I gave those people my view on the entire matter, did what I could do and simply walked towards other happenings in life. I couldn’t change them and their perspective yet I could and did change mine, I chose to view it as an episode which taught me what I might change next time in similar situations to prevent getting into such challenges and instead of feeling hurt I felt enriched by an opportunity to learn, instead of feeling resentful I actually ended up feeling grateful and right now while writing this I smile, even laugh: in the past a situation like this would seem like end of the world and now it is just a part of a playful stage we are all sharing.

As some wise men said: whatever is learned can be unlearned, so we also have a choice to choose different strategies that will improve the quality of our lives and to open ourselves to exploring the world of possibilities. We have a choice to change our attitude of mind which defines our feelings. We have a choice, isn’t that wonderful?

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