January, 2011

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Reminders: F like frankly

Sunday, January 30th, 2011

-… And in this part it feels like you were sacrificing your authenticity for the sake of satisfying the formality…

Her statement sounds likes a self imposed question. Am I still doing that? Am I still squeezing and spreading to fit the approval pattern?

-Don’t worry about their ability to understand it, don’t struggle to make it easier for them to accept your part of the story… Let your truth…

The last word flies up, swirls above our heads and explodes into the Happy Birthday song that was showering a teenager surrounded with friends and peers in the adjacent room.

How many souls in that room are being raised to fulfill someone else’s expectations and how many are taught to listen to their own voice no matter how strange it felt to the environment they were born in? Is that room full of Borgs or is it a review of future renaissance? Will they ponder upon Donne’s bells and question every sound or will they take them for granted and just bow their heads to fit the frame?

-… Just let it out the way it feels right for you…

Everything else is not true and becomes just an adaptation, a conformism, a deception, a lie…? To oneself and all. Not even worth the recycling bin.

Several balloons burst loudly next door, shaking off the uncreative memories.

Another layer of an onion is peeled. Layer by layer, with the help of the Reminders, the essence becomes ever more active and conscious part of self.

The ride goes on, lighter and with a clearer focus on a present moment.

Fragrance of lime tea imprints the lesson.

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Sun day

Sunday, January 16th, 2011

O, Joy!

Out of square forms, perfectly straight concrete lines and corners and into the woods, sunny woods…

And then a bit closer to the sounds of this particular Sunday…

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December survived

Saturday, January 15th, 2011

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While walking by…

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

Hopefilling rays of sunshine suddenly intertwined with naked branches and the wavy base of the trees in the park, offering a timely resort and mellowing a chilly winter day.  Both sight and feeling of the moment glued me to one spot as if aware the Sun might slip under the clouds soon and the magic would be gone.

But there was no fear of loosing it for that was one of those occasions when any predictions, anticipations or reasoning are gone and one isn’t really participating consciously in anything, yet, at the same time, being entirely immersed in everything.

While writing this my mind is working hard (careful there, not always a good thing to do!), rummaging through the archives to find the suitable words for describing all that but to no avail. As often, there are no appropriate words coming out to describe some experience (with) in the Nature, and the invented compounds might be misleading, even for myself while reading this later, when in need for Reminders.

Regardless, I’m leaving this log, short of right words, to remind me on that feeling of hopefulness, pure joy, vigorousness that followed… Immeasurable, like the gratefulness that still, several hours after that unplanned “wellness treatment” fills my entire being with pleasant, comforting and smiley warmth.

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Reminder for T.

Saturday, January 8th, 2011

O.K., so, remember those moments at that crossroad near the market when the winter Sun peaked out and that sudden southern wind made you close your eyes and stop walking and you smiled and said you feel the wind is stretching your lips around your head? And you kept smiling for hours feeling so happy and so light. Soo light that the rest of the story you were telling came out of you free of judgments and regrets for failing in righteousness. That’s it. Sometimes all it takes is a caressing gust of warm wind to blow off the layers of masks, protective shields, poses and fears and to allow revealing the true self. So naked it can’t be anything but joyous for all the weight of “shoulds” and states learned to impress and gain approval are cast away and the lightness imprints a smile, wide as a horizon, contagious, the one that spreads from inside outwards, lips reflecting the primary, authentic state of the inner universe.

Sometimes, as you very well know, the great reminder is a cup of tea; the soft, comforting taste of elderflower, the fragrance… of the umbrella pine, for instance. Sometimes it is a word or a sound that makes entire body shiver and shake off adopted behaviour and return it to the authentic mode.

Sometimes it is a scenery that triggers the cleansing, a colour, a streak of light that embraces white surface of a stone.

Sometimes true nature comes out in most unexpected ways, dear T. and you know it; suffocated, neglected, tortured and silenced it finally finds it’s way out through a dream that could only be labelled as an actual experience of the alternative perspective on life in significant details, a dream that brings a sense of savvy, insights that no books or techniques manage to significantly imprint in the consciousness.

And remember how sometimes all it takes to wake up the authentic self is a friend’s hug. I can see you smiling now. Yes, sometimes that is all it takes to go back into the state of sheer joy of being in peace with oneself, true and honest, genuinely happy for no reason at all, no need to “deserve” or “return”, just being as is and feeling all right, knowing it is enough at this very moment.

All of these reminders can bring a smile that comes from your feet and stretches around your head, they offer lightness and awareness of one’s authenticity even when there is no sunshine and warm wind around.

We promised to keep reminding each other on what we agreed is essential and when we feel is the right moment for it, so here you are, in a form you wanted it to be.

Keep smiling, dear T.
Online hugs count, too ;).

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Note To Myself – Yarrow Revisited

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

There is a panic fever going on at the moment regarding the new law on herbal remedies that is supposed to be introduced to EU in April and many have different views on what this law is really about.

However, there is always something good in everything and the brilliant thing in all this (regardless how monstrous this law may or may not be) is that more and more people might finally take responsibility for their own education and health and take action to learn more about presents we are given on this planet – various herbs that surround us. Fear of loosing something implies dependence and thus often leads to a survival drive of educating self and become self responsible.

Numerous books have been written in times when no money-driven-mega-institution/conspiracy theory and whatnot would filter the knowledge gathered from hundreds and thousand years of experience in relationship between human and plant beings. There are also many other sources from which one can learn who is who in this abundant world of herbs (and human characters) and how, when and where to interact with them.

An old saying reminds us that all we need for healing is usually within our very own environment, so we can learn to collect specific herbs in our nearest wilderness or in a garden. Even more so this way one can be certain the plant still has all the healing properties and that those haven’t been ruined by wrong time of picking, treating it, transporting it or leaving it for too long on a shop shelf.

I used to be surprised when a cup of chamomile tea wouldn’t cure my tummy ache as before, when my auntie made it for me. It took me several years to learn why that was so and to finally find out how many factors are included for one chamomile cup of tea to be effective. And I am still learning about it. I feel I’ve been researching all my life and will keep doing so because every herb is specific as every person is. I mean every herb, every plant, every stem, every flower and every root. Each of them slightly different due to many, many factors; from the environment they grow to the state of mind of a person preparing the tea. Everything counts.

I wish there was a good law regarding herbs, the law that would not install forbiddances yet allow children in primary school to be taught how to interact with the plant (and animal or mineral) kingdom. I also wish every child would learn to recognize wild edibles in nearest and farther environment. I also wish every child would learn how to run her or his mind and to act out of love and not fear. I wish… So many things I wish for and dream of; the world where diversity is cause for celebration and not for fight, the world of awareness of choice.

So, why not choose studying instead of panicking about this new law? Why not choose to use it as an incentive and not a threat, as a reminder how much more there is to learn about herbs, people, and our outer and inner worlds, how many more reasons there are to love and to enjoy exploring this colourful planet and its idiosyncrasies?

Laws come and go, they change, rules change, borders change, people change. One is supposed to respect the law of the society and the time one lives in yet how aware are we of the most important one – the law to be responsible for one and only system we can control – the very own self?
Might all these distressing news, rules and laws serve as a reminder to that one, too?


…For Thou, upon a hundred streams
By tales of love and sorrow
Of faithful love, undaunted truth,
Hast shed the power of Yarrow;
And streams unknown, hills yet unseen,
Whenever they invite Thee,
At parent Nature’s grateful call,
With gladness must requite Thee.

A gracious welcome shall be thine,
Such looks of love and honour
As thy own Yarrow gave to me
When first I gazed upon her;
Beheld what I had fear to see,
Unwilling to surrender
Dreams treasured up from the early days,
The holy and the tender….

(William Wordsworth, from „Yarrow Revisited”)

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