Feelings

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Just before the sun sets they go looking for solitude…

Sunday, September 12th, 2010

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Sad-mad-sad sandwich, part two

Saturday, August 21st, 2010

Just one of the ways to recover; gain a new perspective on a matter that was occupying my mind… There are many other, quicker and handier ones that make the mind reframe the chosen reality, bring to halt the uncreative loops, sort the things out and get a new perspective but this one felt so right yesterday… Nature heals, cleanses, nurtures… All we have to do is to allow that…

Ah, yes, the “inevitable good” that comes out of the chaos and the “sad-mad-sad sandwich” revealed itself that very night, a few moments after I wrote that text. New realizations, new insights…

Not one, but many of them and they keep coming like a refreshing stream of new perspectives. As many times before: what seems like end of an era is actually a beginning of a new one.

We all know that yet and it happens whether we realize it or not at the time, but still… “It’s nice to get that confirmation”.

Every time I think of or say that sentence I get giggles because it triggers a memory on one event that occurred more than ten years ago: we were checking out of a hotel and one by one, members of the group were returning the keys of their rooms and sorting out if they had any extra services to cover. When the youngest in the group handed over his key and the receptionist checked the data in the computer and told him he is free to go (i.e. no extra payments) he joyously shouted: “Yes!”. We laughed and asked him what that was about, didn’t he already know he didn’t use any of the extra services offered by the hotel and he said: “Yes, I did know that, but it’s nice to get a confirmation.”

Yes, well, sometimes it is so.

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A Note To Myself – How To… digest a sad-mad-sad sandwich

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Sad-mad-sad sandwich digestion:

Breathe. And then breathe some more. Deep from the bottom of your spine.

Now, repeat several times: people see what they want to see.

People hear what they want to hear, what they think suits them best at the given moment.

People choose their own truth regardless what you are saying, writing, describing.

Even if you thought they were close and knew you well.

Now take some more deep breaths.

Because…

There is no one truth reality. Each of us have a different one; even the same person may have one truth at one point and a different one at another time. It’s just the nature of the game called Life. Our bodies change, our heart and minds change, our perspective changes.

Even if we choose, yes, choose to feel hurt, we may find comfort in the fact that whatever someone does, he or she is doing that out of his or hers best intentions due to a personal search for happiness. Can we really blame someone for wanting happiness? Happiness makes people feel better, be more creative, do better things, isn’t it?

Even if one chooses to distort every word we say, turn it completely around so we are left perplexed at the sheer possibility of such occurrence there is still a valuable lesson to be learned on the other side (of a tunnel, of course).

Yes, that word. “A lesson”.

I can see you biting into that sad-mad-sad sandwich, again.

Yes, because feeling of being hurt and losing a friend can do that but… We do have a choice in perceiving such unexpected circumstances, don’t we?

Can we ever “lose” or “have” anything that subtle in its core?

Maybe it’s just about cycles, again. One cycle ends, another begins.

Maybe it’s due to some enormous lesson that was to be learned on both sides?

I don’t necessarily support that idea that we learn best when in pain but maybe sometimes that’s the only way it works? “Sometimes” meaning when we missed all other previous signs and warnings.

Maybe.

Maybe, even though it was said the help was wanted, needed and asked for, actually it wasn’t so and I was asked to come in just to serve as a justification, a camouflage for some other things and intentions? But… I still can’t believe that particular person would do that or that I would be so… (insert the appropriate word of your choice)?

I’m still pondering over all this. I’m confused…
In the light of what one smart man said: confusion is a brilliant state of mind because it definitely leads to new insights, I’m moving on.

Now throw that sad-mad-sad sandwich away.

Breathe.

Look around.

Life goes on and changes are inevitable. Sometimes we only later find out “why” and what the lesson of that particular event was and to what good things it lead.

Because…

Good is inevitable too.
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And… A disclaimer or a note to a wandering reader: all I write here are „notes to myself“, my personal reminders, so when I write „you“ or „we“ it is just a figure of speech. I am not giving advices to anyone but myself. If it makes it easier, imagine I am writing to myself in the future, to remind myself on certain occurrences and what were the lessons I learned. Many times this may not make sense to some of you, but it will to me. I hope…

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Scented Balcony

Monday, May 31st, 2010

It’s amazing how this divine scent can turn a cloudy, cold and wet morning into a blissful experience.

I didn’t even have to close my eyes, just as this mesmerizing scent spread around by a sudden gust of southern wind the moment of murkiness turned into an everflowing, warm and pleasant feeling of gratitude. Everything was just right.

Everything is just right.

Just like when hearing the right word or the right sound at the right time or meeting people who enrich our own perceptions of beingness.

.

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Alice in Wonderland

Monday, May 17th, 2010

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A Form Of Fragrance

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

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Filtering, focusing, walking on…

Friday, May 7th, 2010

Focusing on good, creative, inspiring, life-supporting people, things, events,

doesn’t mean I’m avoiding the mud, it merely means that way I’m equipped with more tools and ideas how to go through the mud once facing it and actually use it as a learning curve, it will even serve me as an exfoliant and it means that during the passing through it I will be aware I will have a water source at the end to wash it off which will give me strength to pass through the challenging times.

We tend to grow during challenging times and growing can be painful and can blur the mind and focus and we can make it better or worse; we can put a blue filter on the lens and everything will be in that hue, no matter what colours are on offer around us the filter will distort them, so I’m leaving this post as a reminder to myself that once the unsupporting filters are off there are good, educative parts of the so called mud pits in life and that there is a refreshing, cleansing water on the other end where I can also mould this mud into something good, inspiring and life-supporting.

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Reminders

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

One day it’s a walk by the sea, scent of rosemary, jasmin or a stone pine, the other day it’s a note from a friend, then a piece of music or a line in a book… gentle guidelines, reminders for the “right” path, the one that is in congruency with all that I am.

May this post stay as such a reminder for this feeling of gratefulness that marks this day.

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Monday, April 19th, 2010

Sometimes I feel really grateful for the internet.

In some parts of one documentary I’m translating at the moment there are bits in which the audio isn’t good and I couldn’t figure out what one Egyptologist was saying. The dialogue list I was given with the video didn’t make sense so I googled the Egyptologist’s name (luckily, the spelling of the name was correct in the script!), found her e-mail and asked for help. She replied within a couple of hours.

Now, imagine having the same challenge decades ago.

Would I have to make a long distance call (she lives in Cairo!) and explain what it’s about, which parts exactly are the problem etc…? Apart from the time and the cost, what if she’s not in the office/at home/by the phone for days? Today, many people check e-mails daily wherever they are.

How did translators manage to deal with similar situations in times before the internet?

Maybe the dialogue lists and scripts were more helpful (read: accurate)? Maybe they had more time to do the job and used to send letters across the globe and wait for the reply?

Maybe they used carrier pigeons?

Telepathy?

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The Choice To Feel

Saturday, April 17th, 2010

If I was to choose the most precious, the most useful and the most liberating lessons I had in life so far it would be the ones about the possibility of choice: especially in relation to feelings about certain matters.

Until then I thought feelings were sort of a given, sort of a “I was born this way!”

How amazing it was to find out we create feelings via many patterns and filters we adopted or/and (again) created ourselves. We actually learn to feel certain emotions towards certain matters and we develop „appropriate“  strategy for reacting on various triggers.

Recently I had a very good opportunity to fall into the familiar pattern of sadness combined with anger that would end up in a dungeon of depression because it looked like an injustice has been done to me but I used all my resources to get another angle on this matter and to let go of nourishing the idea of a victim. I gave those people my view on the entire matter, did what I could do and simply walked towards other happenings in life. I couldn’t change them and their perspective yet I could and did change mine, I chose to view it as an episode which taught me what I might change next time in similar situations to prevent getting into such challenges and instead of feeling hurt I felt enriched by an opportunity to learn, instead of feeling resentful I actually ended up feeling grateful and right now while writing this I smile, even laugh: in the past a situation like this would seem like end of the world and now it is just a part of a playful stage we are all sharing.

As some wise men said: whatever is learned can be unlearned, so we also have a choice to choose different strategies that will improve the quality of our lives and to open ourselves to exploring the world of possibilities. We have a choice to change our attitude of mind which defines our feelings. We have a choice, isn’t that wonderful?

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